Pain and paintings

CUTWELL:
Are you sure this couldn't be sorted out by just getting round a table -

MORT/DEATH
NO.

CUTWELL
One...Two...

(and they start fighting. Slow motion. Strobe effect)

DIRECTOR HER:
Be very careful, remember he's badly hurt himself.

KELI:
They both cheated!

YSABELL:
Of course.

(As they fight the DUKE's hourglass is knocked off the desk or shelf and breaks on the ground)

The Duke of Sto Helit!

KELI:
Isn't there something we can do?

YSABELL:
Mort will lose either way.

(MORT shows signs of tiredness)

DEATH:
YIELD, I MAY BE MERCIFUL. THUS IT ENDS, BOY.

MORT:
Mort. Mort. Mort, you bastard!

DIRECTOR HER/REST OF CAST:
Noooo!

(MORT flies at DEATH in a fury, and DEATH is driven back against a wall, he crumples and tries to fend MORT off with cries of 'Ouch!')

DIRECTOR HER/REST OF CAST:
Stop! You're really hurting him.

MORT:
Sorry mate - are you all right?

DEATH:
No, you've hit me on my fractured rib.

MORT:
Oh no! I didn't know!

DIRECTOR HER:
I shouted out to be careful.....!!!

I think the ginger one felt pretty bad after that incident, although probably not as bad as I did when I got up this morning. Secretary is threatening to send him texts calling him a 'beastly boy'.
My ribs are just one element of the effects of my fall. Actually I think plummet is probably a better term. Anyway, I have also discovered that when you smack your knee on something hard, as the knee cannot bruise a ring of bruising appears around the knee. It, and particularly my upper calf are both a lovely mix of yellow and purple.
The ginger one broke the scythe as well. And he almost broke the sword. Well OK not really. But the switch to turn on the blue lights along the side of the blade won't move and needs replacing. Another task for set man to worry about.
Director her gave me her artwork for the poster/postcards/programme last night. Well I say artwork, what I mean is painting. It's fab! DEATH and Mort on Binky (and she really is very, very good at drawing horses) with the Discworld beneath. You can even see one of The Great A'Tuin's er... are they called flippers? I'm not really an expert on large turtles that fly through space carrying elephants holding entire worlds on their backs.
Of course secretary very carefully put it away in her bag so that no-one spilt beer or tea on it.
When we got home we put it on the table in our lounge. This morning I went to get it to take to work. I looked. It wasn't there. Or rather I should say the sketch pad was there, but her painting wasn't. Two other drawings. No Mort artwork. Cue expletives from secretary and producer. 'Someone must have taken it out of my bag.' 'The ******* ***** probably wanted to have a look at it and forgot to put it back in the ******* bag.' 'I can't believe it. Who'd be so stupid?'
Tonight I rang director her. I told her about it and asked who the last two people to leave the hall were, hoping someone had picked it up. The last two out were director him and director her. Then she asked if we were sure they had taken it out as they would have had to rip it out of the pad.... 'It was quite sticky around the edge, maybe it has got stuck to the back of.........'

DEATH
What do you call the feeling of being very small and hot?

DIRECTOR HER:
Please don't do that to me again!!!!!!

Thought for the day: 'By my troth Nerissa, my little body is a-wearie of this world.' Portia to Nerissa. Act I Scene II. The Merchant of Venice. Willy Shaker. Regularly quoted by my dear secretary. Just spoken as she headed upstairs to bed. She has just added 'Now quit your care and anxious fear and worry for schemes are vain and fretting brings no gain.' That's from a hymn. Apparently. She says it's the start of Lent so we should have a hymn. Well we had pancakes tonight. Actually, when does Lent start? On Ash Wednesday? Or is it the day after Ash Wednesday? I'm sure I have had this conversation with Albert before. Maybe he or one of my lapsed catholic friends could assist on this one...